Wedding Chaos Risk Calculator™

An extremely scientific tool to assess how close your wedding is to total collapse.

Frequently asked questions:

  • “Will you be at our wedding?”
    I once endured food poising on a plane, then slept in a tent on an island after a 2km sand dune hike during a literal cyclone.
    I will do my freaking best.


    “Do you Photoshop abs?”
    If you're getting married, you already look your best. But I’ll zap a pimple if needed.

    “What if we’re awkward?”
    You probably are. Everyone is. We’ll still make it work.

    “Will you tell us how to pose?”
    Yes. I’ll tell you how to stand so your chin doesn’t disappear or double up too much. You wont have to worry about where your hands go.
    You won’t be left flailing.

    “We just want candids. Can you do that?”
    Sure. As long as you understand that most ‘candids’ online are staged. I'll give you space, but sometimes I’ll fake a moment to get a real one. Trust the process.

    “How many photos will we get?”
    Enough. If you want an exact number: somewhere between ‘wow’ and ‘holy crap we don’t need this many.’

    “What happens if it rains?”
    You get wet. But we still shoot. Some of the best photos happen when things don’t go to plan. Rainy is cinematic af.

    “Can we bring our dog?”
    If your venue allows it, hell yes. Dogs are better than people anyway

    “Can you re-edit our entire gallery if we don’t like it?”
    → I have not yet had any requests to re-edit a gallery.
    I want to keep this streak going g for as long as possible.