Wedding Chaos Risk Calculator™

An extremely scientific tool to assess how close your wedding is to total collapse.

Frequently asked questions:

  • “Do you Photoshop abs?”
    If you're getting married, you already look your best. But I’ll zap a pimple if needed.

    “What if we’re awkward?”
    You probably are. Everyone is. We’ll still make it work.

    “Will you tell us how to pose?”
    Yes. I’ll tell you how to stand so your chin doesn’t disappear. You wont have to worry about where your hands go.
    You won’t be left flailing.

    “We just want candids. Can you do that?”
    Sure — as long as you understand that most ‘candids’ online are staged. I'll give you space, but sometimes I’ll fake a moment to get a real one. Trust the process.

    “How many photos will we get?”
    Enough. If you want an exact number: somewhere between ‘wow’ and ‘holy crap we don’t need this many.’

    “What happens if it rains?”
    You get wet. But we still shoot. Some of the best photos happen when things don’t go to plan.

    “Can we bring our dog?”
    If your venue allows it, hell yes. Dogs are better than most humans.